I have to be honest when I say that I had modest expectations of the 5th episode LOST, '316.' I'm not bragging but I think I'm pretty good at determining the importance of the upcoming weeks episode by the little trailer they give at the end of the current weeks episode. You know what I'm talking about, when they say "Coming up on next week's Friday Night Lights, Riggins gets loaded and has to make a tough decision regarding Lyla." I'd say that my success rate of predicting the greatness of the upcoming LOST episode based on that 1 minute clip is roughly 97%, it's like my spider-sense. Except in my case, I can't predict when something is bad to happen to people around me, I can merely predict the LOST awesomeness that will take place in one weeks time. So at the end of episode 4 when they showed the '316' snippet, I harbored my enthusiasm as it was made apparent the show would be based on a simple series of events leading in the direction of the Oceanic 6 getting back to the island. This isn't to say that I was unexcited, LOST episodes are like pizza to me, none is bad, just some are better than others.
See, the beauty of LOST isn't in the basic events that take place from episode to episode or season to season. While the stuff that transpires (smoke monster, time travel, heavily armed mercenaries, etc.) on the show is great and generally mindblowing, it is also stuff that could probably be found on any given night on the SciFi channel. The greatness of the series lies in the characters and their history. LOST goes to lengths of defining it's character's identities that no other show has gone to, and that's what makes it truly unique and special. While we knew what kind of cereal Jerry Seinfeld liked and what kind of guys Elaine Bennis was into, Seinfeld never bothered to tell us the story of how Kramer blew up his mother's boyfriend or how Newman was once wheelchair bound and eventually conned by a man claiming to be his father. A lot of tv shows in the past have claimed to be 'character driven,' but in the end it has nothing to do with the actual characters, merely the actors portraying them. LOST is truly a character driven show, which is what made the flashbacks from the first 4 seasons so incredible. As we learned about these people in an impossible situation, we were able to see far past their ability to start a fire or catch a fish, and gain a level of understanding about each individual that isn't common beyond real life. As the series progresses towards it's finale in 2010, we can only hope it doesn't lose sight as to why so many people have a connection with it.
That being said, heres the one sentence summary of episode 5: through some miracle the Oceanic 6 + Ben manage to end up on the same plane that takes them back to the island. Really, that's the gist of it. There were a few noteworthy events that took place, here they are...
- Elouise Hawking tells Desmond that "The island isn't done with you yet." This is major forshadowing that will come more clear later in the episode.
- The scene in the church with Hawking and Jack was outstanding, as was the story of St. Thomas told by Ben to Jack. I can't pick out one or two lines to summarize it, but it was very powerful and prophetic in terms of showing Jack and Locke's importance. Ben tells Jack he has to go tie up 'a loose end.' Translation, someone is going to die.
- Kate came over to Jack's place and proceeded to jump his bones, presumably to get knocked up before heading back to the island so she wouldn't die. Now that it's inevitable she's going to lose baby Aaron, she has no real reason to stay in the real world.
- Ben calls Jack, bloody and out of breath from a boat dock, saying he took care of a promise to an old friend (from last season when he told Widmore he would kill his daughter Penny). It's pretty obvious he's killed Penny and probably little Charlie as well. This goes to what Hawking told Desmond, with his family dead and Ben on the island, Desmond has no real choice but to head back to the island and try to kill Ben.
- For his trip back to the island, Jack decides to wear a suit and tie. Odd choice, I would have gone with shorts, sandals, and some shades. Oh well, different strokes for different folks.
- Clearly something weird is going on because a complete stranger at the airport tells Jack sorry for the loss of his friend, and then the stewardess gives Jack the suicide note after he already tried to get rid of it.
- The pilot of the plane turns out to be Frank Lapidis, the helicopter pilot on the freighter from last year. That was kind of an interesting twist. As Jack and Frank talk, Frank notices virtually everyone on the plane is someone he met on the island, "Wait a second, we're not goin' to Guam are we?" he asks Jack. Well Frank...no you're not.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
LOST Episode 4 Diary
- The show opens with everybody at the dock like at the end of ep. 3. Sun pulls out a gun acting like a hard ass, trying to convince everyone she's going to shoot Benjamin Linus. Bitch please, we all know you aren't going to shoot him! I'm not really sure why this was even a part of the episode since it had -1000% of happening.
- Cut to the beach where the French people are trying to talk to Jin. While using their hands and words don't seem to be cutting it, Rousseau's boyfriend draws a triangle with some lines in the sand and manages to get Jin to figure out hes asking about a radio antenna within 4 seconds. Are Jin and this guy some sort of championship international charades team? How the hell did he figure that out?
- While walking thru the forest, the black smoke monster comes back to mess with the Frenchies. I have to ask, why does the smoke monster have to be black? The nice white polar bear never killed anyone. And look at one of the black castaways, Mr. Eko....a drug dealer. Seeing what I'm getting at here? I'm not saying, i'm just sayin'.
- After killing one of the frogs, the smoke monster grabs some other a-hole and pulls him into a hole by his feet, and his 'friends' decide to grab onto his arm. Hmmm...tug-o-war with the smoke monster? Bad idea jeans homies! I'm not going to say the guy got his f'ing arm ripped off in incredible fashion...oh wait, yes I am...cause that's what happened. Sorry French guy, nice to meet ya. Then his genius friends decide to go into the hole where the smoke monster is to try to save him. Well, they're French, what do you expect?
- A few small things I've noticed: 1- Jin's lips are chapped something fierce, fuck that would hurt. Hopefully the Dharma Initiative has some cherry chapstick stached somewhere. 2- They haven't shown any of these people eating forever. I would be f'n starving! Did the Dharma guys ever open up an Arbys or Quiznos on that damn island? I would be one complaining son of a bitch!
- Rousseau lives out every woman's dream and shoot's her bebe's daddy in the head without repercussion. Apparently, she also capped the only other 2 dudes they were with. This is gonna be some kind of movie on Oxygen channel someday, I can feel it.
- While trying to talk to Jin, Locke asks semi-Asian looking Miles Straume to interpret for Korean Jin, to which Miles responds with the zinger "He's Korean, I'm from Encino." Good stuff.
- Back at the dock in the LBC, Snoop Dogg shows up to help Ben Linus round up the Oceanic 6. HAHA, just kidding, that would be sweet if that happened. And, I wouldn't doubt for a second that Snoop is in Benizzle's Blackberry. Seriously though, Sayid threatens Ben and Jack that if he ever sees them again "It will be very unpleasant for all of us." I'd like to see Sayid torture Jack, that would be great.
- In the forest, Charlotte collapses yet again in an attempt to get attention. Upon waking she has a crazed look in her eye and starts ranting in Korean while peering at Jin. She eventually starts up in english again and tells Jin he can't bring Sun back to the island because "This place is death!" Outstanding scene, I think I'm starting to like Charlotte now, it's too bad she has to die. I might actually be upset at her passing...actually...no I won't. But she deserved to have a cool scene, and now she has. You can go in peace Charlotte, its your time.
- After 2 scene changes we're back to Faraday and Charlotte in the woods where she tells him she's been to the island before and was actually raised there as a child before her mom moved them to England. She tells him a story about how in her youth, a man on the island told her when she leaves she should never come back cause she'll die. "I think that man was you Daniel." Another fabulous scene, that makes 2 for her. That's the final nail in her coffin, they're just pumping her up before her death. This scene opens up a whole can of worms about what the actual relationship is between Faraday and Charlotte. Some people think Faraday is Charlotte's dad, I believe he is her brother and that they have the same mother. Time will tell, but they're definately related somehow.
- Jin gives Locke his wedding ring to show Sun when he finds her after leaving the island. He says that this this will prove to Sun that he is dead. I disagree, all this would prove is that Locke stole your wedding ring at some point.
- Back in the forest, Charlotte (she's now my 41st favorite character, with those 2 good scenes she cracked the top 50!) finally croaks, and it's final too cause they're playing the music from all main characters deaths. Too bad, we'll see what this does to Faraday.
- Cut to Locke in the bottom of the well and Dr. Christian Shephard shows up out of nowhere. I have to say that this guy is the single biggest thing I don't understand about the show. I don't have the slightest inkling about what his role is and why he's around. When we finally learn what his part is in the LOST story, I will be able to sleep better at night, I just don't see what his deal is in the bigger picture. But, as he talks to Locke about his task at hand, he uses the word sacrifice to describe why Locke must die to reunite the Oceanic 6. Oh man, is Locke actually Jesus Christ? The show has been taking on some more religious overtones lately so it's possible. After hearing from Christian that he has to die for the greater good, Locke replies "I'm ready," who like Jesus appears to have an acceptance of his fate. Then, a split second before starting the time leap Christian tells Locke to tell his son he say's hi. Locke responds he has no clue who his son is, the son being Locke's natural rival Dr. Jack Shephard.
- Back at the LBC docks, this time Snoop does show up to help Ben. Psych! Just kidding...again. And actually, they're not at the docks, they're at the church where supposedly Faraday's mom is. For the second time in the episode Ben gets in a battle of semantics, this time with Jack over how he came to meet up with Locke. Earlier he got in a childish argument with Sun over who she thought killed Jin. Ben could have squashed both of these arguments within 1 second but he had to be the smartass and make a comment just to instigate things a little. Nice work buddy, that's the way to get these people to do what you want. Then, just to make things real interesting, my man Desmond shows up.
So to sum up, all the French dudes are dead, Jin could use some chapstick, the LOST creators are racist, Charlotte kicked the bucket, and Locke might be Jesus. Good episode.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Fast Food for Thought
I'm in a little bit of a blog bind right now as I'm at least one week behind on posting my LOST diary. Week 4 was kind of a bust as I was tired when the show aired and didn't even record my thoughts until re-viewing the episode on dvr some days later, which meant my thought was more of a summary of events rather than the true running diary that you've become accustomed to. I regained my zeal this week and put in the proper effort of doing live recording while the episode aired. I promise you, my faithful readers, I'll do my best to get these up for your consumption. This season of LOST is absolutely insane and it's almost too much information to take in at some points. This past week, while the episode still had tons of good stuff, it was a little more subdued in terms of overall craziness so my amount of notes is somewhat short compared to the previous week. Although, the preview for next weeks episode has me giddy as I feel it could be one of the best episodes of the season. In the season 3 finale, Dr. Jack Shephard said "We have to go back (to the island.)" He's goddamn right, I think it's time.
So, while procrastinating finishing up episodes 4 and 5, I decided to I'd finally address an issue that has been in my notebook since before Christmas, the fast food heirarchy. Obviously, not all fast food joints are created equal and I thought it was my job as a responsible online journalist to address this issue and let the world know what I deem to be the top 10 fast food restaurants, in order from worst to best. The timing of this list is now considered suspect though as Bill Simmons, a writer for ESPN.com, loosely discussed a similar topic on his podcast earlier this week. Simmons has gone out of his way to steal other material from my blog and real life (i.e.- ripping on Michael Rappaport during the NBA all-star game, having a post-fantasy football season pizza party, and writing a best selling book about the Boston Red Sox). Well Sports Guy, enough is enough, I can't let this theft of my intellectual property continue. I'll inform you about the lawsuit in the upcoming weeks. It's too bad too, I consider his podcast my favorite, it's too bad our relationship has come to this. Lets move onto the list...
First, in terms of defining what restaurants qualify as 'fast food restaurants,' I went with the loose boundaries of 'food providers who either mainly have stand alone drive-thru buildings, or mainly operate in shopping mall or airport food courts.' This disqualifies places such restaurants as Panera Bread, Jimmy Johns, Potbelly's, Sonny's Barbeque, and possibly Chipotle (but they wouldn't have made the top 10 anyway, so I didn't do any research into what kind of locations they have). Second, the order was determined in terms of 'if a branch of this restaurant was immediately next door to a branch of the company in the position in front of it, and I were hungary, I would choose the one at the lower number.' Meaning, assuming I just hadn't eaten at the joint in position #3, I would pick #3 over numbers 4-10. Here we go!
10- Taco Bell. Ahhh, the Bell. Everyone has a soft spot in their heart (or their gut), for the Bell. We all have great memories, mostly of which are probably partial, of border runs from years gone by. You can't go wrong with the bell, especially in terms of price. Sometimes I wonder how they come up with some of the shit they put on their menus, but for the most part I like it, even though I probably only hit the Bell once every 4 months. This is more of a sentimental pick, mainly due to the fact The Onion did a story about the Bell in Bowling Green.
9- Panda Express. This is more on here simply because I like chinese food and Panda Express is the only real option. Its decent food but I think it's a little pricey, especially for how small the portions are. And, the food isn't good enough to overcome the cost, some places can pull this off, but the Panda can't. I don't think I've ever gone to one that isn't at an airport.
8- Subway. I remember a time when Subway used to be the cheap and light alternative for fast eating. In Subway's hayday it had Quizno's stomped in terms of price, even if they didn't have toasted subs, but that wasn't their game so it was alright. Then Quizno's came along and changed the game. All of a sudden Subway was microwaving their subs and calling them 'toasted.' Then they started jacking up their prices cause at some point they brainwashed the world into believing if you ate their subs you'd instantly drop 10 pounds, screw Jared and their product placement in NBC's 'The Biggest Loser.' Their chocolate chip cookies are phenomenal, turkey breast & ham subs are the bomb, and they have the great little bags of apple slices. But, as I've mentioned before...their employee's are cheap cocksuckers. I'm not going to get started on that, let's move on before I have an aneurism.
7- In-N-Out Burger. This is easily the biggest cult fast food franchise in the history of the world. It started when Mikey in 'Swingers' sported an In-N-Out shirt and has gotten out of control from there. Now, anyone who is anyone is heading straight to an In-N-Out location when they head to Cali, Az, or Las Vegas. I think it's good, but it's also the most overrated chain in the world. The service is slow, and the fries are terrible. Yet, for some reason whenever I'm out west I always hit one up at some point. No joke, one time I ate at In-N-Out 3 times in the same day. I had just gotten back from Australia and there were wildfires and a lot of drinking involved but it did happen. And last year at one near San Francisco, I pissed all over the outside of our own rental car while we were in the drive-thru at 2am. I also have 3 In-N-Out shirts, so deal with it.
6- Burger King. Hands down the worst run fast food chain in history. I can't say that I've ever had a positive experience at a BK, either because of their employees or fellow customers. That being said, Whoppers rule. It's a fact. Plus, they have the King, and he's a pretty cool cat.
5- Sbarro. Nothing says 'I'm at a shopping mall or airport food court' quite like a trip to Sbarro. Their lack of freestanding structures says 'we hate buying, we love renting.' It's a very unique business model, not much unlike baseball hat stores, Sharper Image's, and cell phone accessorie peddlers. I think the best option here is the pizza stromboli with some breadsticks, even if you could fill up a shot glass with grease that comes off the strom. Plus they have pizza, which is never a bad thing. I think Sbarro is at the top of the food court food chain seeing how it's one of the only nationwide (possibly worldwide) staples at airports and malls. Whatever they do, they should keep doing it cause its clearly working.
4- Arbys. For some reason Arbys is like the fine french wine of fast food places. I don't know too many people who would unconditionally go to Arbys at any given point. Most people need to be in the right state of mind, cajoled, or otherwised convinced to head there which is disappointing. Going to Arbys is an event, kind of like going to the circus. When you tell other people you went there they say, 'Wow, really, I love Arbys! I haven't been since I was a kid.' Arbys is absolutely fabulous. Their only real downfall is their lack of locations, but it's also kind of their strong suit because if you had it too much, you might take it for granted. And Arbys doesn't deserve that.
3- Quiznos Sub. As I stated earlier, Quiznos blew up the sub game with their toasted subs. Watching your sub slowly cruise through the oven is like watching your immature son become a polished man right in front of your very eyes. When it comes out, you almost feel bad eating it because you can feel the love that has been baked in. And the icing on the cake is the pepper bar, like cheapass Subway has the balls to offer AYCE condiments to the customers. Their cookies suck, and they only offer chips as sides, but their subs are diabolical (not as good as Potbelly's though). A large classic Italian with heaps of jalapeno's after a big workout is a staple for me. Unlike Panda Express, Quiznos can overcome the steep price because the subs are sooooooo good.
2- Chick-Fil-A. Exhibit A- waffle fries. Do I need to say anything else? No, but I will anyway. Exhibit B- the best and nicest employees of any food place on the planet (they bring you refills so you don't have to leave your table, how sweet is that?). Exhibit C- the best chicken sandwich in the game. Exhibit D- the best breakfast chicken biscuit around. Exhibit E- authentic sweet tea. Their chicken sandwiches are so good McDonald's had to try to steal t
heir idea of 'southern style.' Fuck you McDonalds, that's why you didn't make the list. That and the fact that your mascot is far too excited to be around little kids than what he should be for being a grown man.1- Wendy's. This was a tough decision, and a very close call, but in terms of fast food joints, Wendy's truly is the king of kings. Their double burger is the best burger hands down. Their spicy chicken sandwich is outstanding. They have the best straight fries out there. The real clincher though is the option to substitute fries on combos for baked potatos, salads, chili, etc. They have the best value meal of any chain which is good in todays tought times. Their main detractor is that they don't have an independent drink island so you can get your own refills, I hate having to stand in line if other people are waiting to order cause when the cashier ignoress them to get your refill they always shoot you a dirty look like you're skipping them in line. Excuse me dick, I'm not skipping you, I've already paid my dues and got my food so stand there and shut up while I get my complimentary refill in a new cup.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
LOST Episode 3 Diary...2 weeks late
As we prepare for tonights 5th episode of LOST, it's probably about time to get to episode 3, 'The Little Prince.' I think I was unable to do this one on time because I had some friends come in town the following night and then had to go to Michigan for a wedding over that next weekend. While these are decent excuses for why I didn't get the diary posted, I must remember that I am not bigger than LOST, and that LOST deserves the proper amount of time and attention. I feel humbled by this mistake and can only promise to try to be a better man in the future. Like A-Rod said in his presser yesterday, "Don't judge me on what I've done in the past, judge me on what I do from this point forward." Seeing how this episode took place 2 weeks ago, I took the opportunity to watch episode 3, as well as ep. 4, again last night to refresh my memory and get properly pumped up for tonights new episode. Here we go...'The Little Prince'...
9:02 EST- Kate is holding baby Aaron on Penny's rescue boat while her doppleganger Jack sits there attempting not to drool all over himself. She tells him that she's going to lie and say the child is hers, of course, Jack doesn't dissapprove. Am I the only one who doesn't see any chance of this working? They weren't even on the island for 1/2 a year, and Kate wasn't pregnant when she got there, and yet shes going to convice everyone the kid is hers? Coming from someone who blew a dude up, I guess this line of thought isn't completely illogical. Good luck with that Kate, I don't see how anything can go wrong.
9:04- Another brilliant move by Kate, she leaves 3 year old Aaron with Sun while she goes to 'negotiate' with the lawyer who showed up at her house asking for blood samples. The odd's of Kate seeing the kid again...roughly 15%. She isn't even 100% sure what side Sun is playing yet. No wonder Jack always feels the need to help Kate, she clearly needs guidance in most aspects of her life. Except in terms of blowing people up, she seems to have that part figured out.
9:10- On the island, Charlotte is still out cold and Sawyer is pacing like a caged animal. Juliette, who has become completely useless this season, keeps telling him to shut up and eventually to leave. She is very calming and doesn't mind busting his balls in front of everyone to meet that end. I can't wait til they hookup, he's Sawyer, you know it's going to happen. In terms of Charlotte, Faraday compares her symptoms from the leaps to 'jet lag.' Sorry bro, I've had jet lag and it's never made me pass out with a massively bloody nose.
9:12- MENSA candidate Kate is at the lawyers office and tries to negotiate with him to find out the identity of his client who's trying to take Aaron. The lawyer calls her out bigtime saying she is in no position to negotiate, which she isn't. She wants to know who is doing this to her, he responds "You did this to yourself." Oh Kate, you probably should ask him if he is a bankruptcy attorney so you can file for mental chapter 11.
9:14- LOSTies on the island are trying to figure out where they should go next, Locke says the Orchid because that's where all the time travelling problems started so that's probably where they'll end. Sawyer asks why they need everyone to come back, to which Locke replies "Don't you want them to come back James? Don't you want her to come back?" Sawyer can't seem to get away from thinking about Kate, he obviously thought he was playing it all smooth but apparently everyone on the fucking island noticed his feelings...and the fact that they boned...boned bigtime while being held captive. BTW, it's sunny as all hell on that island and no one has sunglasses. If I had to squint for 5 months straight, I'd be a testy guy.
9:23- Locke et al. are roaming through the forest at night when they see the beam of light coming from the hatch (the event from the season 1 finale), so obviously the last jump took them back only a few months. A few steps later Sawyer comes across Kate helping Claire give birth to Aaron and gets severly choked up seeing her again. He is mega-whipped, when he hooks up with Juliette things are going to get really weird.
9:30- I just figured out who the one guy from the Wendy's 3conomic's adds is. Not the guy who does all the talking, or the Asian guy with the bowl cut, but the third guy. He was the guy in 'The Dark Knight' who gets busted after the public shooting of Commissioner Gordon. That was bothering me, I'm glad I figured that one out. Also in 'The Dark Knight'...the guy who plays Richard Alpert on LOST, Nestor Carbonell. That's a strange name.
9:34- Miles asks Faraday what is causing the nosebleeds after the time jumps. Faraday thinks it has something to do with amount of exposure to the island. Miles says he, DF, and Charlotte, have the least amount but yet, Charlotte has the worst symptoms. Miles then says he's never been on the island and Faraday asks, "Are you sure?" Ohhhhhh, big hint to the fact that Miles is Dr. Changs child! Boo Ya!
9:39- Kate and Jack follow the lawyer who she just met to see who he meets with at the end of the day. He heads to a hotel and goes to a room. The person opening the door is Claire's mom...this is too obvious. This can't be the person coming after Kate.
9:46- After the lawyer leaves, Jack goes up to the ladie's room to try to talk some sense into her. After mentioning Aaron's name, Claire's mom says, "Who's Aaron?" She obviously isn't there to get the kid back, apparently she's in town to settle her lawsuit with Oceanic Airlines and that the same lawyer just happens to be representing her.
9:48- Cut to the same lawyer pulling into a parking garage and parking next to a van. He gets out and talks to the person in the van who is...Benjamin Linus! Sayid listens as the lawyer tells Ben that the case against shitty Hurley (currently in county lockup) is terrible and he should be released by morning, which plays right into Ben's hands. After the lawyer leaves, Sayid asks Ben who that was. "That was my lawyer," says Ben. Clearly he's found his stronghold on Kate that will force her to go back to the Island, Aaron. I smell blackmail!
9:50- While attempting to row their little boat to the other side of the island, Sawyer opens up to Juliette about his feelings for Kate. This is getting ridiculous, Sawyer just needs to admit he loves her. Juliette then proceeds to get her first bloody nose, uh oh!
9:52- A rubber raft is seen in the midst of a major rain storm, presummably near the island. The boats crew sees someone floating on a big piece of wood and pick him up. ITS JIN! He's still alive! He had to be, he didn't get the proper sendoff that other characters have gotten so that seemed to make sense. Glad to have you back Jin, looks like you need a little chapstick bro.
9:55- Jack and Kate arrive at the docks and meet up with Ben and Sayid. Upon hearing that Jack is working with Ben, Kate is actually able to figure out that Ben is behind the lawyer trying to take Aaron. Well played Kate, I take back the previous MENSA comment.
9:58- Cut back to the island where Jin is coming around and talking to the French crew of the boat. We all see where this is going as he talks to a pregnant French lady and tada!...It's Rousseau. Quelle surprise! Great episode though, these time jumps are making things crazy!
9:02 EST- Kate is holding baby Aaron on Penny's rescue boat while her doppleganger Jack sits there attempting not to drool all over himself. She tells him that she's going to lie and say the child is hers, of course, Jack doesn't dissapprove. Am I the only one who doesn't see any chance of this working? They weren't even on the island for 1/2 a year, and Kate wasn't pregnant when she got there, and yet shes going to convice everyone the kid is hers? Coming from someone who blew a dude up, I guess this line of thought isn't completely illogical. Good luck with that Kate, I don't see how anything can go wrong.
9:04- Another brilliant move by Kate, she leaves 3 year old Aaron with Sun while she goes to 'negotiate' with the lawyer who showed up at her house asking for blood samples. The odd's of Kate seeing the kid again...roughly 15%. She isn't even 100% sure what side Sun is playing yet. No wonder Jack always feels the need to help Kate, she clearly needs guidance in most aspects of her life. Except in terms of blowing people up, she seems to have that part figured out.
9:10- On the island, Charlotte is still out cold and Sawyer is pacing like a caged animal. Juliette, who has become completely useless this season, keeps telling him to shut up and eventually to leave. She is very calming and doesn't mind busting his balls in front of everyone to meet that end. I can't wait til they hookup, he's Sawyer, you know it's going to happen. In terms of Charlotte, Faraday compares her symptoms from the leaps to 'jet lag.' Sorry bro, I've had jet lag and it's never made me pass out with a massively bloody nose.
9:12- MENSA candidate Kate is at the lawyers office and tries to negotiate with him to find out the identity of his client who's trying to take Aaron. The lawyer calls her out bigtime saying she is in no position to negotiate, which she isn't. She wants to know who is doing this to her, he responds "You did this to yourself." Oh Kate, you probably should ask him if he is a bankruptcy attorney so you can file for mental chapter 11.
9:14- LOSTies on the island are trying to figure out where they should go next, Locke says the Orchid because that's where all the time travelling problems started so that's probably where they'll end. Sawyer asks why they need everyone to come back, to which Locke replies "Don't you want them to come back James? Don't you want her to come back?" Sawyer can't seem to get away from thinking about Kate, he obviously thought he was playing it all smooth but apparently everyone on the fucking island noticed his feelings...and the fact that they boned...boned bigtime while being held captive. BTW, it's sunny as all hell on that island and no one has sunglasses. If I had to squint for 5 months straight, I'd be a testy guy.
9:23- Locke et al. are roaming through the forest at night when they see the beam of light coming from the hatch (the event from the season 1 finale), so obviously the last jump took them back only a few months. A few steps later Sawyer comes across Kate helping Claire give birth to Aaron and gets severly choked up seeing her again. He is mega-whipped, when he hooks up with Juliette things are going to get really weird.
9:30- I just figured out who the one guy from the Wendy's 3conomic's adds is. Not the guy who does all the talking, or the Asian guy with the bowl cut, but the third guy. He was the guy in 'The Dark Knight' who gets busted after the public shooting of Commissioner Gordon. That was bothering me, I'm glad I figured that one out. Also in 'The Dark Knight'...the guy who plays Richard Alpert on LOST, Nestor Carbonell. That's a strange name.
9:34- Miles asks Faraday what is causing the nosebleeds after the time jumps. Faraday thinks it has something to do with amount of exposure to the island. Miles says he, DF, and Charlotte, have the least amount but yet, Charlotte has the worst symptoms. Miles then says he's never been on the island and Faraday asks, "Are you sure?" Ohhhhhh, big hint to the fact that Miles is Dr. Changs child! Boo Ya!
9:39- Kate and Jack follow the lawyer who she just met to see who he meets with at the end of the day. He heads to a hotel and goes to a room. The person opening the door is Claire's mom...this is too obvious. This can't be the person coming after Kate.
9:46- After the lawyer leaves, Jack goes up to the ladie's room to try to talk some sense into her. After mentioning Aaron's name, Claire's mom says, "Who's Aaron?" She obviously isn't there to get the kid back, apparently she's in town to settle her lawsuit with Oceanic Airlines and that the same lawyer just happens to be representing her.
9:48- Cut to the same lawyer pulling into a parking garage and parking next to a van. He gets out and talks to the person in the van who is...Benjamin Linus! Sayid listens as the lawyer tells Ben that the case against shitty Hurley (currently in county lockup) is terrible and he should be released by morning, which plays right into Ben's hands. After the lawyer leaves, Sayid asks Ben who that was. "That was my lawyer," says Ben. Clearly he's found his stronghold on Kate that will force her to go back to the Island, Aaron. I smell blackmail!
9:50- While attempting to row their little boat to the other side of the island, Sawyer opens up to Juliette about his feelings for Kate. This is getting ridiculous, Sawyer just needs to admit he loves her. Juliette then proceeds to get her first bloody nose, uh oh!
9:52- A rubber raft is seen in the midst of a major rain storm, presummably near the island. The boats crew sees someone floating on a big piece of wood and pick him up. ITS JIN! He's still alive! He had to be, he didn't get the proper sendoff that other characters have gotten so that seemed to make sense. Glad to have you back Jin, looks like you need a little chapstick bro.
9:55- Jack and Kate arrive at the docks and meet up with Ben and Sayid. Upon hearing that Jack is working with Ben, Kate is actually able to figure out that Ben is behind the lawyer trying to take Aaron. Well played Kate, I take back the previous MENSA comment.
9:58- Cut back to the island where Jin is coming around and talking to the French crew of the boat. We all see where this is going as he talks to a pregnant French lady and tada!...It's Rousseau. Quelle surprise! Great episode though, these time jumps are making things crazy!
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
As first reported here last night, my sources in Phoenix say Shaquille O'Neal was seen getting down with the JabbaWockeeZ (from here on referred to as Dan) during the pre-game intros of last nights NBA all-star game. This routine completely blew my mind and I've watched it about 100 times today up to this point. Here it is, embedded for your enjoyment:
After doing a little research about Dan, I've found out a few things that I will now disclose to help expand your mind. Item 1- Dan was the season 3 champion of MTV's America's Best Dance Crew. Item 2- Before filming began for the MTV show, one of the members of the crew died. That's a bummer. Item 3- Their name comes from a poem written by Lewis Carroll called 'Jabberwocky' that was mentioned in 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.' Item 4- All members of Dan are required to bring at least 2 different colored Snuggie's on the road with them. It's possible one of these four things isn't true, I challenge you to figure out which one.
Possibly the best thing about the NBA all-star weekend was the ability to hype up the Shaquille "The Big Shaqtus" O'Neal-Kobe "The Black Mamba" Bryant fued. Actually, the amazingly large number of times I've had to use the hyphen key on my keyboard the past two entrys is the best thing to come of this weekend...the Shaq-Kobe fued thing is #2. The best rumor I read was that Shaq blames Kobe for his divorce because apparently in testimony from his rape case, Bryant went on in detail about Shaq's encounters with numerous women over the years. Shaq apparently wasn't upset that he had cheated on his wife on what appears to be hundreds, possibly thousands of times, he was just upset his wife heard about it. My personal theory is that Shaq wants to go back to L.A., but that Kobe would rather lose the NBA finals w/o Shaq than win with him. Kobe is a real interesting cat, I'd really like to meet him. You know how people say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile? I don't think this applies to Bryant, everytime he smiles on tv, I get the sense he'd rather be getting chemotherapy than trying to force a half-assed completely disingenuine grin. Shaqtastic...29 points.
Another thought I forgot to mention last night was why haven't there been any inklings whatsoever about NBA stars shooting roids? Has anyone seen LeBron James or Dwight Howard lately? Dear christ, they're freakin' monsters! Check out how LBJ gets huge here, and Superman here. Although, apparently they'll never be as big as Rasheed Wallace. I guess the only evidence against them is their size, because all those guys seem extraordinarily nice to each other, the media, and fans. The NBA is in the midst of a huge renaissance right now and these two are just a few of the guys leading the way, it's funny how the American public responds to a sport when it isn't being led by a bunch of self-centered overpaid trouble-causing gangstas. Sure, LBJ et al. are overpaid, but they seem like cool guys.
After doing a little research about Dan, I've found out a few things that I will now disclose to help expand your mind. Item 1- Dan was the season 3 champion of MTV's America's Best Dance Crew. Item 2- Before filming began for the MTV show, one of the members of the crew died. That's a bummer. Item 3- Their name comes from a poem written by Lewis Carroll called 'Jabberwocky' that was mentioned in 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.' Item 4- All members of Dan are required to bring at least 2 different colored Snuggie's on the road with them. It's possible one of these four things isn't true, I challenge you to figure out which one.
Possibly the best thing about the NBA all-star weekend was the ability to hype up the Shaquille "The Big Shaqtus" O'Neal-Kobe "The Black Mamba" Bryant fued. Actually, the amazingly large number of times I've had to use the hyphen key on my keyboard the past two entrys is the best thing to come of this weekend...the Shaq-Kobe fued thing is #2. The best rumor I read was that Shaq blames Kobe for his divorce because apparently in testimony from his rape case, Bryant went on in detail about Shaq's encounters with numerous women over the years. Shaq apparently wasn't upset that he had cheated on his wife on what appears to be hundreds, possibly thousands of times, he was just upset his wife heard about it. My personal theory is that Shaq wants to go back to L.A., but that Kobe would rather lose the NBA finals w/o Shaq than win with him. Kobe is a real interesting cat, I'd really like to meet him. You know how people say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile? I don't think this applies to Bryant, everytime he smiles on tv, I get the sense he'd rather be getting chemotherapy than trying to force a half-assed completely disingenuine grin. Shaqtastic...29 points.
Another thought I forgot to mention last night was why haven't there been any inklings whatsoever about NBA stars shooting roids? Has anyone seen LeBron James or Dwight Howard lately? Dear christ, they're freakin' monsters! Check out how LBJ gets huge here, and Superman here. Although, apparently they'll never be as big as Rasheed Wallace. I guess the only evidence against them is their size, because all those guys seem extraordinarily nice to each other, the media, and fans. The NBA is in the midst of a huge renaissance right now and these two are just a few of the guys leading the way, it's funny how the American public responds to a sport when it isn't being led by a bunch of self-centered overpaid trouble-causing gangstas. Sure, LBJ et al. are overpaid, but they seem like cool guys.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
NBA All-Star Awesomeness
I knew the yearly defensive basketball clinic known as the NBA all-star game was this weekend but hadn't realized this event had morphed into a week long celebration of half-assed events full of c-list celebs. I also knew the game was on Sunday night on TNT but was upset to learn there wasn't a 'Law & Order' marathon to lead into it. I know there's a 'L&O' episode that was centered on a washed-up basketball player who murders his brother that would have been a perfect lead in, and a 'L&O' marathon was needed cause tv today was absolutely terrible. When the Daytona 500 is the only thing even remotely worth watching...that's bad. According to the NBA's website the first official event of the 'weekend' was the Swifter Wet Jet Zygote game which featured 1 month old fetuses of people who have been extras in either Tom Hanks or Will Sm
ith films, which took place two weeks ago. I think nba.com has the highlight video for the game. On Tuesday, they held their annual 'Brandon vs. his high school friends in SEGA Bulls vs. Blazers,' competition. In round 1, John Starks won a barnburner over Mark Price 208-201. Price really lost his legs the final few minutes allowing Starks to pull away, but it was a spirited competition by both participants. It was really awkward breaking into my old high school house so we could recreate the proper playing conditions from 1993 but it was well worth it.
By Friday, they had actually worked up to an event where it's possible you've heard of some of the people participating, the McDonalds Celebrity Game. This game used to be on MTV and was called the Rock-n-Jock BBall Jam but apparently after Roger Mcdowell quit returning MTV's calls about participating, they sold the rights to the game to the NBA. Tragically, the league has done away with the 25 point circles on the floor, as well as the 20 foot high basket that was worth 50 points, apparently in the name of 'competitive integrity.' Whatever NBA, I'd rather see 5'8" celebs dunking trying to dunk on a 9 foot rim. So, within .0004 seconds of seeing the lead-in to the tv telecast on the Ocho, I knew exactly how this game was gonna go down. Fade in on Stuart Scott and Terrell Owens, boo ya! Is it possible for a celebrity team playing for charity to be imploded by one of its players for ripping apart the coach at half time? It is when T.O. is on the team! I could already see the headline on nba.com for the following morning, 'T.O. rips Magic Johnson after being benched in pick-up game.' Or possibly, 'T.O. incarcerated after attempting to stuff basketball down Michael Rappaports throat on failed alley-oop.' Is there any question that T.O. is going to be that one guy who is trying 8 times harder than anyone else on the court? Everyone knows that guy I'm talking about, the guy in a friendly coed game that ends up tackling a girl and breaks her shoulder? The guy who wears metal cleats to a work softball game and slides into second spikes up? Yeah, you know that guy. If I were to put the over/under on T.O. assists for the game I'd have to put it at .5, and I would definately bet the house on the under. Like theres a chance in hell he's getting an assist! Upon checking out nba.com on Saturday I was vindicated as T.O. poured in a game high 17 points and was named MVP (for the second straight year no less), but he also had 1 assist. And Rappaport, the worst actor ever, had 8 fouls...good work champ.
As I'm typing this I'm watching the actual all-star game and noticed a few things. 1- the arena announcer must have taken some horse tranquilizers or something, I've never heard a more subdued p.a. guy. But, I actually liked it. Watching the intros during most NBA games is like watching the intros for the WWE Royal Rumbe...except on more steroids...if that's possible. I think theres a happy median between the normal gutteral screaming of most announcers and this mope. 2- Shaquille O'Neal is hilarious, his dancing spiel with the Jabbawockeez during the intros was spectacular. How did he get so many q's? I probably shouldn't worry about it. 3- Those dancing guys with the white masks are called the Jabbawockeez, I didn't know that before. After seeing them in those creepy Gatorade G commercials, I googled 'white masked dancers' and was never able to figure out who they were. 4- At halftime they said the players from the 2008 USA mens basketball team were going to be given rings to commemorate their gold medal performance. Fuck, call me crazy but didn't they already get the commemorative gold fucking medals? Do they really need a ring to help remember that two week period where they monkey stomped the rest of the world? 5- Craig Sager, seriously? Are you being serious with that suit and shoes? Seriously, enough is enough.
ith films, which took place two weeks ago. I think nba.com has the highlight video for the game. On Tuesday, they held their annual 'Brandon vs. his high school friends in SEGA Bulls vs. Blazers,' competition. In round 1, John Starks won a barnburner over Mark Price 208-201. Price really lost his legs the final few minutes allowing Starks to pull away, but it was a spirited competition by both participants. It was really awkward breaking into my old high school house so we could recreate the proper playing conditions from 1993 but it was well worth it.By Friday, they had actually worked up to an event where it's possible you've heard of some of the people participating, the McDonalds Celebrity Game. This game used to be on MTV and was called the Rock-n-Jock BBall Jam but apparently after Roger Mcdowell quit returning MTV's calls about participating, they sold the rights to the game to the NBA. Tragically, the league has done away with the 25 point circles on the floor, as well as the 20 foot high basket that was worth 50 points, apparently in the name of 'competitive integrity.' Whatever NBA, I'd rather see 5'8" celebs dunking trying to dunk on a 9 foot rim. So, within .0004 seconds of seeing the lead-in to the tv telecast on the Ocho, I knew exactly how this game was gonna go down. Fade in on Stuart Scott and Terrell Owens, boo ya! Is it possible for a celebrity team playing for charity to be imploded by one of its players for ripping apart the coach at half time? It is when T.O. is on the team! I could already see the headline on nba.com for the following morning, 'T.O. rips Magic Johnson after being benched in pick-up game.' Or possibly, 'T.O. incarcerated after attempting to stuff basketball down Michael Rappaports throat on failed alley-oop.' Is there any question that T.O. is going to be that one guy who is trying 8 times harder than anyone else on the court? Everyone knows that guy I'm talking about, the guy in a friendly coed game that ends up tackling a girl and breaks her shoulder? The guy who wears metal cleats to a work softball game and slides into second spikes up? Yeah, you know that guy. If I were to put the over/under on T.O. assists for the game I'd have to put it at .5, and I would definately bet the house on the under. Like theres a chance in hell he's getting an assist! Upon checking out nba.com on Saturday I was vindicated as T.O. poured in a game high 17 points and was named MVP (for the second straight year no less), but he also had 1 assist. And Rappaport, the worst actor ever, had 8 fouls...good work champ.
As I'm typing this I'm watching the actual all-star game and noticed a few things. 1- the arena announcer must have taken some horse tranquilizers or something, I've never heard a more subdued p.a. guy. But, I actually liked it. Watching the intros during most NBA games is like watching the intros for the WWE Royal Rumbe...except on more steroids...if that's possible. I think theres a happy median between the normal gutteral screaming of most announcers and this mope. 2- Shaquille O'Neal is hilarious, his dancing spiel with the Jabbawockeez during the intros was spectacular. How did he get so many q's? I probably shouldn't worry about it. 3- Those dancing guys with the white masks are called the Jabbawockeez, I didn't know that before. After seeing them in those creepy Gatorade G commercials, I googled 'white masked dancers' and was never able to figure out who they were. 4- At halftime they said the players from the 2008 USA mens basketball team were going to be given rings to commemorate their gold medal performance. Fuck, call me crazy but didn't they already get the commemorative gold fucking medals? Do they really need a ring to help remember that two week period where they monkey stomped the rest of the world? 5- Craig Sager, seriously? Are you being serious with that suit and shoes? Seriously, enough is enough.
Monday, February 9, 2009
We Don't Give a Damn...
...for the whole state of Michigan. At least that's how the song of Ohio State faithful goes. Obviously that little ditty wasn't written with the $1.25 beers that the fine village of Frankenmuth, Michigan goes. Don't get me wrong, this blog isn't going to turn into a big love fest for the state up north, but it's possible that behind the Wolverines, snowmobiles, and camouflage, the state might have something good to offer. Heading into enemy territory during daylight hours for over 48 hours, like this trip would require, normally isn't my cup of tea. Normally, I'm more of a covert assassin like during my times pulling special ops in 'Nam. Get in under the cover of darkness, take out your target, and get out before the enemy never even knew you were there. It's hard to operate this way during a wedding though, so I knew I was going to have to work out of my comfort zone. I was even going to have to drive right by Ann Arbor, this would prove to be a test of my mental fortitude.The reason for heading to The Muth was for my friend Jeff Sypek's wedding, the reception actually. The wedding was somewhere called Essexville, 'The Gateway to Saginaw Bay', roughly 25 miles north of The Muth. The reception was in Frankenmuth proper, home of 3 bars open until roughly 2am...or so they claim. The drive from Columbus to there was roughly 270 miles, so I took Friday off of work so that I could take my time getting there and stop in Bowling Green for lunch. After only being able to force down 3 pieces of Myles, I boxed up the leftovers, hit the SBX for some sweet BGSU brown hoodies and hit the road up RT. 23 for the remaining 150 miles. Upon getting to the hotel, my date for the weekend, a guy named Kermit, was about to land so I head north to the bustling MBS airport to pick him up. Friday night started at the Main Street Tavern where beers were $2.50, popcorn was .25 cents, and they had 1 speaker to jam the tunes. After a few beers we headed a few blocks south to Tiffany's for what would prove to be the highlight of the weekend, $1.25 cans of Old Style Light! The remainder of the night was spent there with uber-nerd, FIJI, and snazzy dresser, Northwestern neuroscientist Adam Stocker. At bar close we headed back to the hotel not having done any shots.
Saturday, we started off by hitting local haunt T-Dubs for breakfast. When I initially did internet research to familiarize myself with The Muth, I found T-Dubs and had a utopian vision of it being some kind of bizarro B-Dubs, where hot wings and draft beer ruled the landscape. This was not so. While the T did have a few draft beers and some bootleg 'Wing Dings' it wasn't what I was hoping for, but oh well. At 11am we ordered our first beers for the day, we were off and running! After getting some good grub in our bellies, we headed across the street to Tiffany's for a few cheap cold ones before we needed to change and head to the wedding. After 4 or 5 there, we got dressed up and hit the wedding. It was a basic wedding, I don't really have anything to say about it. On our way back though, we hit what looked like someones house that said 'John's Bar.' We walked in and preceeded to be looked at by everyone in there like we just walked in from Jupiter. This happened no matter where we went, it was very strange. My theory is that in towns based on tourism like The Muth, locals never know what kind of out-of-town weirdo is walking in next so when they hear the door open they always turn to look to see what they're dealing with. The lady working was nice though so we had a few beers with the Guss' before heading back to Tiffany's for the second time of the day, but not the last time eith
er. This time the bartender recognized us and got us beers before we even asked...and proceeded just to run us a tab. We had been in town 20 hours and we had already reached local status! After a few more there it was time to hit up the reception at Zehnder's.The reception was a good time. Two of the bartenders were mixing good drinks, the third however was really being ants at a picnic. Yeah, I said it, ants at a picnic. She was only mixing drinks w/ 1 shot of liquor while the one guy, Side Show Bob, and his cohort were mixing doubles. For my free drinking dollar, I want more bang for my buck, so the lady got ignored and I did my best to spread the word with everyone in attendance not to get drinks from her. She was issue #1, issue #2 was that the bar was closed while dinner was served. This was slightly irritating, but luckily a few people at the table had stocked up for some kind of drinking apocalypse so I stole some drinks from them and the day was saved. The rest of the reception went well, the dj whipped out the Boss' 'Glory Days' and a little 'Chicken Polka,' and we were the last ones to leave. When the dj has broken down his equipment and you're still there drinking, it's probably time to go, but hey, I had been tipping Side Show Bob good so he let us hang. After that, we hit up Tiffany's for one last time. There we saw the young ladies from the reception wait staff and had a few beers with them. By the time we got home at the end of the night it was after 1am which meant we had been drinking for 14 hours, quality stuff! BTW, the chicken dinners at Zehnders are completely overrated, the mashed potatoes were good, and judging by how many rolls Kermit ate, they were good too...real good.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Stupor Bowl Recap
So, last Sunday was Super Bowl 43 between the Steelers and Cardinals and a lot of people came to play that day, whether it be in Tampa, FL (site of the game), or Columbus, OH (my location). Some people shy away from the big stage, but not me, I say bring it on, my liver can't tell if it's a preseason scrimmage or the biggest stage in all of professional American sports. The last two weekends of the NFL season were tough for a Cleveland Browns fan like myself, and the need to self-medicate to deal with a possible Ravens or Steelers Super Bowl victory was inevitable. Case #1- Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers for the AFC Championship, Sunday, Jan. 18, 2009. Or, to put it another way...the former Cleveland Browns vs. our most hated arch rivals for the right to go to the Super Bowl...something which we've never been able to do. I don't even need to say anything besides that. It was singlehandedly the biggest slap in the face game I've ever been forced to watch. To be honest, it was so bad I didn't drink one beer or do one shot, I actually cleaned my bed and bathrooms and did laundry. And luckily for me, it was also the longest game in NFL playoff history, taking nearly 13 hours to play. This game is really the worst case scenario for any sports fan. It wasn't like if Seattle was playing Carolina, a case in which I don't really give a shit about either team or the outcome. But, in this game I actually have gutteral hatred for both teams and was wishing their team buses were in horrendous wrecks on the way to the stadium. If they were to hit each other it would be two birds with one stone, the odds of the buses being in seperate wrecks are even more remote.Case #2- Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Arizona Cardinals for the NFL Championship, Feb. 1, 2009. That statement could read Steelers vs. (insert anyone of the 16 NFC teams) and it would be depressing. For this game I vowed not to stay sober, and sober I would not be. On Thursday, I saw Sunday Sara at my favorite bar, Novak's, and she said she was working on Sunday...which is why she's Sunday Sara. Uber-cute Shannon also said she would be there so it sounded like a deal. By the time gameday rolled around all I needed to do was get some sunflower seeds and I was ready to rock. Upon getting to the bar, we layed out the groundrules for our anti-Steelers drinking game. Pretty simple really, whenever something bad happened to the Steelers, shots! 'Something bad' originally meant a big play by the Cardinals (i.e. touchdown or turnover), but as the first quarter ended it became painfully obvious that the rules needed to be changed or else we'd be as sober as a reborn Christian on well...any occasion I guess. After 15 minutes of play: Zona- 3 offensive plays, Brandon-
0 shots. The Cards come back in the second with a nice scoring drive that leads to 7, they're coming back, shot #1. After a nice defensive stand, the Cards are driving again at the end of the half when...well...you know what happened. Know we're doing shots to deal with the pain of the inevitability of another Steelers Super Bowl ring. At halftime there was a shot for Springsteen singing 'Glory Days,' and at some point in the third quarter I think we did shots for a Rothlisberger incomplete pass. Things around this point get a little fuzzy and the next memory I'm 100% sure of is waking up the next morning feeling tired and a little hungover.In terms of my Facebook status regarding the location of my car, it was one street over. Go Browns in '09!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Going to the Whip
Just to warn everyone, I think the announcing team of Steve Lavin and some other guy (who are presently announcing the OSU home basketball game vs. Purdue), have coined the soon-to-be most over used cliche of this college season...'Chief.' Chief, as in the big Indian (feather, not dot) from the movie 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.' They (I'm not sure which one) used the film reference in regards to OSU freshman center BJ Mullens, who is 7 feet tall. At one point he went out of the game causing Lavin to go into hysterics about how OSU needed to bring Chief back into the game, and how they need to run their offense through Chief, and how if his wife was there Lavin would let Chief sleep with her. Apparently, there's a scene in the movie where Jack Nicholson is shooting hoops with Chief, and he offers the Indian gum for playing well. Do you think this slipped past ESPN's goons? Of course not, so as an appendix to the Chief cliche, we'll be hearing the term 'Fruit Strip Gum' until the end of March Madness as well. I'm opposed to this on numerous levels. First, Fruit Stripe gum sucks. Second, you shouldn't need to be bribed to get up for a game of hoops. If you have that little self pride that you need a pack of gum to get psyched to make it rain 3's on some poor saps mellon...you need to re-evaluate your priorities. That's a fact Jack.
Another thing involving an OSU sports telecast took place a few weeks ago and almost made me fall out of bed. Knowing my propensity for falling this winter this probably doesn't surprise you. For some reason The Ocho was replaying the OSU-Michigan football game from '06 and I happened to turn it on at a point where Brent Musberger made the point, 'Jim Tressel has to be the best play caller in the country folks.' Dear lord, I about pissed myself. While that statement was possibly true at the time, anyone that's watched OSU football since Troy Smith's graduation knows most 3rd graders could predict their plays with around 70% accuracy. I'm sure me and the other 7 people that are sick of Jim Tressel found that statement hilarious. 7-1 vs Michigan though, there isn't much I can say about that. I probably didn't need to put that last sentence in there, but I wanted to for all my readers who are from/or root for U of M. Go RichRod!
Enough with amateur athletes, lets move on to the professionals...like myself in the running world. The past few days have been fairly monumental in my running career as I train for my first competitive half marathon in two weeks. On Saturday I set a personal record for longest run, in terms of both time and distance. 21 miles in 3 hours and 14 minutes. It was a pretty crappy run as there was a shitty head wind for half the run, there was tons of street traffic, and the sidewalks were a snowy/slushy/icy mess. But, knowing that last weekend was my best chance for a long run since I'm going to a wedding this weekend, I perservered and grinded it out big time. I was really psyched, but my legs really weren't. Sunday was a day off since it's the Lord's Day, and oh yeah, it was the Super Bowl, which gave my legs a much needed rest. My liver on the other hand was forced to pick up the slack, I'll tell that story in another post. Then last night I went out for my basic run, I didn't know what to expect after the PR on Saturday so I set out with modest expectations. After the first mile though, I realized I felt good so I started to pick up the pace when possible (the sidewalks were horrendously icy
, the worst I've seen due to the temp rise, then re-freeze making for large plates of frictionless ice). At mile 8 I still was kicking ass so I thought I'd turn it up for the last 2 miles (mostly nice sidewalks on OSU's campus that are ice free, thanks THE OSU!). For moments like this, I'm coining my own running cliche...'going to the whip.' This is mainly a horse racing term that refers to when the jockey starts beating the shit out of his mount to get it to run faster. In politically correct terms the jockey is 'asking the horse for more effort.' Bullshit, I ask the lady at Wendy's for another thing of butter for my baked potato, and it doesn't involve me hitting her with a leather whip...unless she's lucky...oh behave! So, I went to the whip for miles 9 and 10 and I responded very well, 10 miles in 85 minutes, 8:30 pace. That's the fastest I've ever run for that distance, quelle suprise. However, my knee is a little sore today from what seems like 31 miles of cross country running between Saturday and Monday. I took it easy and biked mainly today, this week looks to be pretty easy as I head to scenic Frankenmuth, Michigan for a friends' wedding this weekend.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
LOST Episode 2 Diary
This is getting to be ridiculous, this is the 3rd (third) time I'm attempting to write this g'damn blog and I'm getting a little upset. As I write that last sentence I start to wonder, whats worse? My computer for screwing me the previous 2 times, or me for trying to do it again and again? I guess that's a question for the ages. Plus, I feel as if I'm treading in uncharted waters...is it even legal to post a blog on the weekend? Is there some kind of code of ethics in blogging that says roughly 4pm on Fridays is the cutoff for blog posts until the following Monday? I might need to get some clarification on this, I'd hate to have my blogging priviledge revoked over a simple misunderstanding of the rules. And remember kids, just like driving a car, blogging is a priviledge, not a right. Do you think kids in Iraq under the Saddam Hussein regime were allowed to blog? Hell no. God bless the USA.
As I did last week, I would have liked to have written this on Thursday night so you, my awesome readers, could read this and possibly watch a little 30ROCK, which would set the table for a stellar Friday and be a springboard for a great weekend. Unfortunately, a social engagement prevented me from accomplishing this on Thursday night. But, since I'm a loser, I thought I'd give it a crack on Friday night since I didn't have any plans to go out. Luckily for me about half way through the first attempt I got an 'Application Crashed' message on the computer which I'd never seen before, ever. No big deal I thought, blogspot.com autosaves your work as you go. Upon reopening the page on attempt #2 on Saturday afternoon, it became obvious that 'Draft Autosaved' simply means 'We saved the title and nothing else, good luck remembering everything else you typed douche.' Soooo...partway through attempt #2, Firefox froze up and became unresponsive, great news. Which brings us to the present, where blogspot couldn't even manage to save the f'ing title. Thanks dicks.
I need to clarify a statement I made earlier when I said 'social engagement.' What I meant to say was I went out and got loaded at my favorite weekday hangout, Novak's on High, home of the $13 5 hour bar tab. God bless Shannon, Sara, and Jenny, they're the best. And kudos to the person rocking out on the jukebox, Bon Jovi's 'Raise Your Hands?' Dear lord, that song kicks ass, that one is going on my bachelor party megamix no questions asked. Upon arriving home from getting tanked, I felt the need to rewatch Wednesday nights LOST episode at which point I sent Kristen P. a LOST themed Facebook comment. A LOST comment at 1:45 am...classy, I know.
Onto the subject at hand, I had a huge revelation about the season premiere a few days ago. At the beginning of that episode it shows what I presumed to be Dr. Changs wife and his newborn child. The only problem with that scene is that I thought all women that became pregnant on the island died? How did this lady have a kid and survive? The scene was short and seemed inconsequential at the time, but I think there are a lot of questions that need to be answered in one sense or another. Onto episode 2, 'Jughead,'...
9:00- The show starts with Desmond running around looking for someone/something at a small Asian port. Oh boy! A Desmond episode? It's going to be uncomfortable for me to sit with this boner for the next 60 minutes. As it turns out he's looking for a doctor to help Penny give birth. Who goes sailing around the world when they're preggers? That's just irresponsible parenting. Des and Penny, you're better than that, come on now.
9:03- Flash forward to the present where Des and Penny are with their son. This is uncomfortable, I'm now jealous of a fictional 3 year old for having such awesomely cool parents.
9:07- Hmmm, The Others are attempting to take the Losties hostage with shitty homemade bows and arrows. I guess the current economic of the world knows no limits, even The Others have been effected and can't afford guns. You'll never catch me being taken hostage by someone with a bow and arrow, how lame. And seriously, could Daniel Faraday's stock rise anymore? In the history of tv no character has had such a meteroic rise in prominance from one season to the next. We're witnessing history here folks.
9:12- Big time foreshadowing in conversation between Desmond and Penny. Penny tells Desmond, 'You can't go back to the island.' Desmond responds, 'Why would I want to go back there?' Translation, at some point Desmond needs/wants to go back to the island and needs to choose between his family and the island. Don't question this, I'm a genious, more evidence to this fact will be presented later in this post.
9:14- Miles Straume, the Asian member of the freighters research team, whips out his skills as the group nears the stream. This isn't really that important but it led to the best text of the night by Kristen. I had sent her a text referring to him as 'Myles.' She responded saying I only spelled his name like that because of my infatuation with Myles Pizza in Bowling Green. Touche, my friend. She is correct that my subconscious love for the delicious pie plays a role in my spelling as I find out his name is spelled with an I, not a Y.
9:20- Desmond has found his way to Cambridge where they tell him they have no record of Faraday ever being there. Desmond, being a smart, enquisitive, handsome devil like myself, decides to poke around a little and finds a sealed off room with a picture of Faraday and the leftovers of his experiements. A janitor walks in and gives him a name of a lady he should go see. Des plays it cool and talks to him, I would have jumped the guy from behind and pulled some ninja shit, broken his neck, and snuck out the back door so no one ever knew I was there. I guess there are a few different ways to handle every situation.
9:28- Locke, talking to the soliders on the island, refers to everyone as 'My people.' He really appears to be buying into his destiny as the leader of everyone.
9:34- Desmond goes to the house the janitor told him about and finds the lady is in a vegatative state due to something Faraday did to her. The implication is that he was running some kind of time travel experiements on her but I propose another theory. Faraday is such a monster in the bedroom that she had sensory overload while doing it and was left in this coma-like condition. I'm just putting that out there. Unfortunately this conflicts with my other theory that Faraday is gay, I need to reconcile these two views. The lady's sister tells Desmond that Charles Widmore was the one funding Faraday's research, and is now paying for all of the girl's medical bills, which is nice of him I think. This episode is absolutely insane, there is so much going on, I love it.
9:49- Desmond charges into Widmore's office! This is outstanding stuff! Widmore has been shown throughout the show to be a stone cold guy, never backing down from anyone, and always pushing his agenda. The tide has turned apparently as Widmore asks Des a question about Penny's well-being, but Desmond refuses to answer and asks C-Dub (as I'm going to refer to Charles Widmore from now on) for Faraday's mom's location. Widmore gives in but admonishes Hume to "After delivering your message, get out of this," and to "...go back to where you were hiding." Spectacular stuff, great interaction between two adversaries.
9:50- Kristen texts at some point asking when the next time jump is going to take place. My response is at the end of this episode, after Faraday disarms the bomb, but before Locke has a chance to finish his conversation with Richard Alpert. Remember that statement. Anyway...Locke barges into the soldiers camp and demands to speak with Ageless Richard. Richard comes to see Locke but has no idea who he is, eventhough he's seen him numerous times in the future. While he may be ageless, the time leaps don't seem to effect him in some manner...interesting. Alpert barks at one of the soldiers...who turns out to be a young C-Dub, did I mention this episode is crazy? I might have an epileptic seizure soon.
9:57- Desmond gets back to the boat to see Penny and their son Charlie...yeah, Charlie, obviously an hommage to Charlie Pace, who Des couldn't save no matter how hard he tried as shown in season 3's 'Flashes Before Our Eyes,' one of the best episodes ever. Desmond tries to lie to Penny about Faraday's mom but she sees right through it. The Humes are going to Los Angeles!
10:00- Just like clockwork, Locke is talking to Richard when the high pitched sound of the time jump is heard. Locke needs more information about how to get off the island...but...too late! The jump has happened, just as I predicted (minus the Faraday disarming the bomb thing, but 2 out of 3 isn't bad). Charlotte, who's playing with the houses money anyway since she's started having symptoms of the dreaded time jump sickness, falls over with a massively bloody nose (which was the final symptom for the guy in season 4 episode 'The Constant,' right before he croaked). She sucks anyway, her character is no big loss. Although, when Faraday was telling her he loved her she looked really happy, like no one had told her that in a really long time. Will Faraday be able to save her? Doubtful.
As I did last week, I would have liked to have written this on Thursday night so you, my awesome readers, could read this and possibly watch a little 30ROCK, which would set the table for a stellar Friday and be a springboard for a great weekend. Unfortunately, a social engagement prevented me from accomplishing this on Thursday night. But, since I'm a loser, I thought I'd give it a crack on Friday night since I didn't have any plans to go out. Luckily for me about half way through the first attempt I got an 'Application Crashed' message on the computer which I'd never seen before, ever. No big deal I thought, blogspot.com autosaves your work as you go. Upon reopening the page on attempt #2 on Saturday afternoon, it became obvious that 'Draft Autosaved' simply means 'We saved the title and nothing else, good luck remembering everything else you typed douche.' Soooo...partway through attempt #2, Firefox froze up and became unresponsive, great news. Which brings us to the present, where blogspot couldn't even manage to save the f'ing title. Thanks dicks.
I need to clarify a statement I made earlier when I said 'social engagement.' What I meant to say was I went out and got loaded at my favorite weekday hangout, Novak's on High, home of the $13 5 hour bar tab. God bless Shannon, Sara, and Jenny, they're the best. And kudos to the person rocking out on the jukebox, Bon Jovi's 'Raise Your Hands?' Dear lord, that song kicks ass, that one is going on my bachelor party megamix no questions asked. Upon arriving home from getting tanked, I felt the need to rewatch Wednesday nights LOST episode at which point I sent Kristen P. a LOST themed Facebook comment. A LOST comment at 1:45 am...classy, I know.
Onto the subject at hand, I had a huge revelation about the season premiere a few days ago. At the beginning of that episode it shows what I presumed to be Dr. Changs wife and his newborn child. The only problem with that scene is that I thought all women that became pregnant on the island died? How did this lady have a kid and survive? The scene was short and seemed inconsequential at the time, but I think there are a lot of questions that need to be answered in one sense or another. Onto episode 2, 'Jughead,'...
9:00- The show starts with Desmond running around looking for someone/something at a small Asian port. Oh boy! A Desmond episode? It's going to be uncomfortable for me to sit with this boner for the next 60 minutes. As it turns out he's looking for a doctor to help Penny give birth. Who goes sailing around the world when they're preggers? That's just irresponsible parenting. Des and Penny, you're better than that, come on now.
9:03- Flash forward to the present where Des and Penny are with their son. This is uncomfortable, I'm now jealous of a fictional 3 year old for having such awesomely cool parents.
9:07- Hmmm, The Others are attempting to take the Losties hostage with shitty homemade bows and arrows. I guess the current economic of the world knows no limits, even The Others have been effected and can't afford guns. You'll never catch me being taken hostage by someone with a bow and arrow, how lame. And seriously, could Daniel Faraday's stock rise anymore? In the history of tv no character has had such a meteroic rise in prominance from one season to the next. We're witnessing history here folks.
9:12- Big time foreshadowing in conversation between Desmond and Penny. Penny tells Desmond, 'You can't go back to the island.' Desmond responds, 'Why would I want to go back there?' Translation, at some point Desmond needs/wants to go back to the island and needs to choose between his family and the island. Don't question this, I'm a genious, more evidence to this fact will be presented later in this post.
9:14- Miles Straume, the Asian member of the freighters research team, whips out his skills as the group nears the stream. This isn't really that important but it led to the best text of the night by Kristen. I had sent her a text referring to him as 'Myles.' She responded saying I only spelled his name like that because of my infatuation with Myles Pizza in Bowling Green. Touche, my friend. She is correct that my subconscious love for the delicious pie plays a role in my spelling as I find out his name is spelled with an I, not a Y.
9:20- Desmond has found his way to Cambridge where they tell him they have no record of Faraday ever being there. Desmond, being a smart, enquisitive, handsome devil like myself, decides to poke around a little and finds a sealed off room with a picture of Faraday and the leftovers of his experiements. A janitor walks in and gives him a name of a lady he should go see. Des plays it cool and talks to him, I would have jumped the guy from behind and pulled some ninja shit, broken his neck, and snuck out the back door so no one ever knew I was there. I guess there are a few different ways to handle every situation.
9:28- Locke, talking to the soliders on the island, refers to everyone as 'My people.' He really appears to be buying into his destiny as the leader of everyone.
9:34- Desmond goes to the house the janitor told him about and finds the lady is in a vegatative state due to something Faraday did to her. The implication is that he was running some kind of time travel experiements on her but I propose another theory. Faraday is such a monster in the bedroom that she had sensory overload while doing it and was left in this coma-like condition. I'm just putting that out there. Unfortunately this conflicts with my other theory that Faraday is gay, I need to reconcile these two views. The lady's sister tells Desmond that Charles Widmore was the one funding Faraday's research, and is now paying for all of the girl's medical bills, which is nice of him I think. This episode is absolutely insane, there is so much going on, I love it.
9:49- Desmond charges into Widmore's office! This is outstanding stuff! Widmore has been shown throughout the show to be a stone cold guy, never backing down from anyone, and always pushing his agenda. The tide has turned apparently as Widmore asks Des a question about Penny's well-being, but Desmond refuses to answer and asks C-Dub (as I'm going to refer to Charles Widmore from now on) for Faraday's mom's location. Widmore gives in but admonishes Hume to "After delivering your message, get out of this," and to "...go back to where you were hiding." Spectacular stuff, great interaction between two adversaries.
9:50- Kristen texts at some point asking when the next time jump is going to take place. My response is at the end of this episode, after Faraday disarms the bomb, but before Locke has a chance to finish his conversation with Richard Alpert. Remember that statement. Anyway...Locke barges into the soldiers camp and demands to speak with Ageless Richard. Richard comes to see Locke but has no idea who he is, eventhough he's seen him numerous times in the future. While he may be ageless, the time leaps don't seem to effect him in some manner...interesting. Alpert barks at one of the soldiers...who turns out to be a young C-Dub, did I mention this episode is crazy? I might have an epileptic seizure soon.
9:57- Desmond gets back to the boat to see Penny and their son Charlie...yeah, Charlie, obviously an hommage to Charlie Pace, who Des couldn't save no matter how hard he tried as shown in season 3's 'Flashes Before Our Eyes,' one of the best episodes ever. Desmond tries to lie to Penny about Faraday's mom but she sees right through it. The Humes are going to Los Angeles!
10:00- Just like clockwork, Locke is talking to Richard when the high pitched sound of the time jump is heard. Locke needs more information about how to get off the island...but...too late! The jump has happened, just as I predicted (minus the Faraday disarming the bomb thing, but 2 out of 3 isn't bad). Charlotte, who's playing with the houses money anyway since she's started having symptoms of the dreaded time jump sickness, falls over with a massively bloody nose (which was the final symptom for the guy in season 4 episode 'The Constant,' right before he croaked). She sucks anyway, her character is no big loss. Although, when Faraday was telling her he loved her she looked really happy, like no one had told her that in a really long time. Will Faraday be able to save her? Doubtful.
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