As you may or may not have heard, the world's economy is in a bit of a downturn right now. People are loosing their jobs at unprecedented rates and the lifestyle that most of us have come to take for granted over the past few years has gone by the wayside. While this bear market has produced many negatives for a lot of people, a few positives have come out of it. Subway has all footlong subs for $5 and Quiznos has some subs for $4, at the end of the day I think this is what will define this era, The Great Sub War. This time has forced many people to adjust their spending habits and become more resilient . I think as a whole the general population is trying to make the best of a bad situation and is maintaining reasonably high spirits in spite of the poor economic conditions. Americans are showing their true spirit and doing everything they can to support their fellow citizen who may be in need, this is no more true than in the case of General Motors. While some people are saving pennies and still managing to donate their time, food, clothes, etc, to those less fortunate, GM is taking the unprecedented step to ask Americans to 'put their rally caps on.' Get inspired by watching the commercial...(pause)
Hmmmm, put my rally cap on? Are they being serious? I think they are. I almost wrecked my car the first time I heard the radio commercial for this appeal to the population. Then, I almost jumped through the roof of my house after seeing the tv commercial asking the same thing. Sooooooo, let me get this straight...GM is seeking $24 billion in bailout money from the government to support their sorry asses, and they want me to put my rally cap on? How out of touch can these people be? You put your rally cap on when your baseball team is down 2 runs heading into the bottom half of the last inning, not when you're asking Uncle Sam for a cool $24 billion. Let me try to describe the sports scenario equivalent of the situation GM is in right now....oh wait, THERE ISN'T ONE BECAUSE NO FUCKING BASEBALL TEAM HAS EVER ASKED THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT FOR $24 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS! Even the Pittsburgh Pirates and Kansas City Royals organizations are looking at General Motors like they're a goddam joke, and rightfully so. The Pirates and Royals are a lot of things, but I've never seen them on Capital Hill begging for money.
And why should we put our rally caps on? Aren't they the ones with one foot in the corporate grave? Heres a hint for the GM wonderkin, why don't you put your fucking rally cap on? Take your own advice and wear your rally cap the next time you head to Washington D.C. to shill for more taxpayer dollars. Maybe the government will appreciate the 'fingers crossed, let's hope for the best' mentality of the rally cap and just give you $50 billion just to tide you over. And while I'm dropping hints to the GM 'braintrust,' why don't you try updating the gauges, dials, radios, buttons, etc., in your cars once every 30-40 years? Have you ever thought that maybe that's why you're in this predicament? Fuck me, if you need a power window button for a 2007 Chevy Malibu, all you need to do is go to a junkyard and grab one out of a 1988 Astrovan. No need to reinvent your model lines once every five years like the Japanese companies, that's just a big waste of R & D money! Around the 12 second mark of that commercial, it says 'we need to start thinking differently.' Really? No shit? You're only about 3 decades and $24 billion late on that call buddy. Oh well, who needs technology and innovation when we have rally caps? They'll save the day!
I may not be in the best financial situation I've ever been in but I'm working and staying afloat which is fine, life has its ups and downs and this is just a part of the ride. And it has nothing to do with 'digging in' or 'rallying,' it's called being a normal human being and surviving. Unlike the white collar fat cats who drove GM into the ground, and on some level aided in the current world economic crisis, the overwhelming majority of us don't have the comfort of taking the corporate jet from our cushy northwest Detroit suburb mansions to the nation's capital to panhandle for cash. It's possible there's a lesson to be learned from how GM is handling this current crisis, can we apply the their rally cap theory to all aspects of life? "Good evening sir, this is American Express. Your bill is past due and we'd like a payment." "Well, I'm kind of short right now, but I have my rally cap on! Does that give me an extra month?" or perhaps..."Sir, I have some bad news, your kidneys are shot, you need a transplant." "Well doctor, I presently don't have health insurance cause I was laid off of work from a tier one GM parts supplier." "No problem sir, I just realized you had your rally cap on. We'll take care of it for you, no problem!" I could come up with scenarios like this all day, but I haven't even touched on Chevy's shitty anti-gay Howie Long truck commercials. Not only is GM broke, but they also feel it's important to disperse anti-gay sentiment in their commercials. Sorry for using my Ford 'man step' to make my day easier and save my knees and back Howie, I guess I'll buy a Chevy just so you don't call me a queer. And Howie, wearing wire rimmed glasses and a mock turtleneck don't make you smart, they just make you look smart...big difference douchebag. Here's a good video on how comic book villains are handling the current economic climate...
And I thought I was the only person who thinks that this commercial does anything BUT inspire confidence. Rally Cap campaign is a big fat FAIL.
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